Cro-Magnon Guy

Guyography

MOTTO: "Aaarrghhh!"

TURN ONS: Aaarrghhh, Aaarrghhh

TURN OFFS: Aaarrghhh, Aaarrghhh

IF I COULD BE ANY ANIMAL, I WOULD BE...
an Aaarrghhh

If you read our CEO's letter -- and you certainly should have by now -- you will remember that one of our first projects was the "Text Monkey." We did a majority of the work on that project at our top secret lab situated in an unspecified location not far from the North Pole. One day, while our lab assistants were hosing out the monkey cages, we took a much needed break and went ice fishing. What we caught astonished us - a frozen, prehistoric human. We dragged this miraculous Cro-Magnon guy back to our labs and thawed him out in one of our industrial-size microwaves. He was a little frightened by us at first -- but then, many people are. Anyway, just like a loyal puppy, he became our friend. We're still working on getting him housebroken.